|
gravitypunkette
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Country: United States
State: Hawaii
Birthday: 3/17/1985
Interests: sewing!, art,poetry,learning new things, listening to music:
jimmy eat world...u don't dig em? then we got problems, vroom,taking back sunday,the movielife,jack johnson, eagle eye cherry, sublime,NFG, and olivia.
Expertise: nerdiness,over thinking everything, H20...I MISS THE OCEAN!, dancing with my home fries,putting everything off until sunday night, klutzyness...beware.
Message: message me
Member Since:
3/21/2003
|
|
| Sometimes the people you love the most are the ones who bring you down.
I hate realizing that. It's been weighing on me like a ton of bricks. | | |
| troy is visiting next weekend! sooo excited. it's the craziest thing ever, but i've never felt so strongly for anyone before. not even sure how it happened, but i like it. i'm trying to figure out what kinds of things he'd like to see in new york city. 9 days!!!!!!!!!! | | |
| he sent me a half dozen long stem, lavendar roses at my job. haha imagine my shock when this messenger drops off a humangous thing in the middle of brunch. crazy! i was sooo floored. he makes me incredibly happy. the card read "because you might be my list." it's referencing this list of qualities i wrote a while ago in a past xanga entry...kinda like my wish list for the ideal guy. i did it on a whim because my friend crissy told me that i should write it down and forget about it. anywhoot i had read him the list a while after he wrote me that list answering my "why me?" question. quite possibly the most perfect thing to write in a card. just like in the movies.
his first package was a painting. his first ever painting. did i write about that already? oh hell i can't remember. but it was super funny and cute. no picasso, but lotsa effort.
mmm it's like i could float right now. just thinking about him makes my heart take an extra beat and drop to the pit of my stomach, up into my throat and back in place. like a roller coaster feeling. | | |
| so it is going swimmingly with this new boy...well i guess he isn't new at all, but reintroduced to me. i should start from the beginning. we just started talking on facebook (i know, i know!...w-e-i-r-d). just hey hows it going kinda stuff and we just hit it off-- back and forth, back and forth. then he told me about these goals he wanted to start. one being for the body and working out. second goal to learn to surf and get in touch with the spiritual side of that. third goal was to make money through these different business plans etc. the fourth goal was to connect with someone. not necessarily in a romantic way, but to really and honestly connect with someone by sending this person some kind of package, flowers, whatever it may be every week for the duration of his goal period which is three months. and i suppose since we were vibing he decided he wanted it to be me. and then i skeptically responded to that message with..."why me?" and i'm just going to copy and paste this part because it's the cutest thing i've ever gotten.
"hey good morning! yeah i guess i do have some explaining to do huh? guess we start with why youhuh?....geez well, thats a lot you know? youre funny..youre motivated. because youre blunt. and because youre honest. cause youre quick, which guarantees that youre smart. cause youre genuinely nice. cause youre no bullshit. cause you use the word bonkers. cause your freakin gorgeous. cause i have an easier time talking to you than i have had with anyone down here. and cause you bust your ass for what you want. cause you give good advice, and i actually take it. cause youre real. because your thoughtful. because i think youre worth it yknow, and it just feels right. i mean logically i know this makes no sense, completely. im going in kind of blind here and really just feeling my way through this. something just clicked and now im putting it out there to see if i can act on it. what if i got hit by a car tomorrow and never said anything? which is where i think all of these goals are coming from. yknow just not wasting anymore time i guess. i like that youre blunt. did i mention that?"
and so we've been talking on the phone a lot. i'm sleep deprived--thanks five hour time difference. and i love waking up to a text message. i was trying to keep it arms length when i realized how much we were clicking in every way possible. on sunday i had a work party and ended up making out with this barback from work. soooooooooooooo N-O-T me to do something like that when i'm interested in someone else. but i think i panicked and was like well i'm single and i don't belong to anyone. but i felt so completely guilty and knew that i fucked up. so i drunk dialed and told him everything. i haven't felt so sorry for something i've done in a very long time. he wasn't mad, but he was completely bummed. but idk somehow we talked it out. and now it's even better (as twisted as that sounds). i think i realized that i needed to just follow my heart even though the situation makes no sense. i can't always play it safe when someone amazing is right under my nose. i'm so afraid of getting hurt and trusting anyone that i did something dumb. lesson learned. the dynamic changed then. i like him a lot. probably more than anyone that has ever been put in my path. i'm so terrified of admitting that. he's super sweet and he gets me. we're not in a relationship. we decided that distance makes things hard enough without having to be so official. so i suppose we are untitled til we can actually go on a date, be in person, etc. god i feel like an informercial for match.com or something...shoot me.
oh and package one arrived. he painted something for me. i thought it was adorable how the packaging had "fragile-handle with care" stickers all over the thing. it was his first painting ever because he remembered how i was really artsy and liked painting in high school. so i get something ridiculously thoughtful every week for three months--how did this happen to me? i'm in a movie. pinch me! | | |
| so i have some news...might be a little bit premature to say this, but who cares nobody even reads this anymore. i am semi sorta kinda into one of my kamehameha classmates...as in class of 2003. who woulda thunk it? definitely not me. i'll see what happens. i won't be naming any names at the moment. it's actually kind of funny. to be continued. | | |
|
